Students write the darndest things…

I’m in the middle of marking my student’s major assignment for the year: research essays on any topic of their choice that relates to the course’s themes. Generally speaking, this means that their essays should have something to do with the environment, art, technology, education, philosophy and culture. I’ve enjoyed reading them, but I can’t help but laugh at some of the unfortunate unintended meanings and statements.

For example, did you know that Giant Pandas can fly? “Roaming the high altitudes of China, this majestic animal has a population of a mere 1000 in the wild.”

I would hate to be stuck in the middle of one of these: “Climate change may also cause severe weather events such as hurricanes, tornadoes, thunderstorms, ice storms, floods and droughts, which in turn cause detrimental damage to the communities and cities that caught in the middle.”

Those aren’t mountains, they’re bodies of water: “The concern here is also about distribution, as Canada has a seemingly endless suppy of water, yet four of eleven provinces rely on the Rockies for a portion of thier water supply.”

You can get Mad Cow Disease from harvested masonry now: “The report of 2003 indicates that around 20 000 castles going to slaughter in the United States, only one cow was diagnosed with BSE.”

Gotta love those oxymorons: “Furthur in the near future…”

It was a true social event: “At a gathering I attested I met a boy who was blinded form life in his right eye.”

They puked the essay: “The forth cause brought up in this paper was road and highway development.”

I wonder what the responsibility looks like: “Whether for agriculture, health, cooking or cleaning woman bare the responsibility of water collection for these activities”